Why I Started Stupendous Love

I never planned to start a company. I planned to learn, grow, and excel — to build a family, a home, a career, and a life full of the things that matter most.

What I didn’t fully realize or see in real-time is that I had it all. It felt hard and heavy sometimes, but all those hopes and dreams were realized… check, check, check.

It wasn’t until the morning of January 20, 2023, when my life changed in an instant. What started as an automated call from Ava’s school letting me know she wasn’t in school quickly escalated to what likened itself to a too-outrageous-to-be-true Lifetime Original movie… that automated call was the preface to what I would very quickly learn was the notification that my daughter lost her life in the hands of her father, my husband, in a murder-suicide.

She Was Everything

Ava was everything. I knew that… I was her mother. Though tragic, her death unleashed a wave of grief and reflection worldwide that I never could have and still have a hard time wrapping my head around. What did that look like? Social media immortalized her, hugs from strangers when I was in public, holiday ornaments from Europe and Australia just to name a few. Events and memorials held in her name and honor.

How could a 14-year-old in the small Baldwinsville suburb of Syracuse have such a profound and far-reaching impact? Ava was born an old soul. She loved people, she loved everyone, she wanted to do it all — but more than anything she wanted to live life BIG with people. She had an innate ability to connect, deeply and quickly, with everyone — never discriminating because of someone’s age, race, gender, interests… anything. Totally normal for a 2-year-old to form indelible lifelong friendships with people 5 and 6 decades older than her… welcomed the new kid into the group in sports, in school, in spaces. Having a bad day… don’t worry, she had the kindest of words to make you feel better… if that didn’t work… her larger-than-life personality exploded into an outburst of unexpected measure causing laughter to pour out, whether you were prepared to laugh or not. Secret acts of kindness… her specialty!

February 2026, and I am still receiving messages, calls, and having conversations about things Ava did, or relationships she formed when no one was looking, that changed people’s lives for the better, forever.

The Wave of Love

In the waves of sadness and numbness that immediately followed that fateful January 20th, something else emerged. A wave of love, a wave of celebration that I never could have imagined. While surrounded by so much grief, I watched and listened to each and every example of why Ava meant so much to so many. The unexpected and kind notes, her making a point to say hi to someone every time she passed them, noticing details about a person that no one else noticed that became a bonding point, an infectious laugh and a smile so big you had no choice but to notice it.

Ava was also imperfect. She didn’t get it right all the time, she had sass, and held her ground when she firmly believed in something — right or wrong — but it was that imperfection that made her perfect. And while I had a hand in raising her, as did her father, there was something about her that was unique to her core that she fully developed on her own. It is that spirit, that life she lived, the imprint she made everywhere, that became the foundation of Stupendous Love.

Some of my favorite core memories were the most simple times. Sure, we had some over-the-top moments… front row seats at concerts, beachy vacations, road trip tournaments — but the walks around our village, the driving all over creation to try a new coffee shop, bakery, or restaurant, and everything in between… that was magic. The messy middle of life. And it’s that life, the legacy left behind, that became the movement I knew needed life and tangibility… the ping of enlightenment became Stupendous Love.

Who I Was Before

Before January 20th, I would like to believe I was very intentional about how I lived my life — and if I am honest, I was, in most ways. That honesty also forced me to face the fact that perhaps I was not living as fully and as intentionally as I was teaching Ava to. It made me question my own authenticity. That ah-ha moment was a gift.

Did I think I was a bad person, parent, or friend before that moment? I don’t think so — but I was a much better human thereafter. In the days that followed January 20th, there was no question that authenticity was and is the only option. I’m not perfect, I definitely get it wrong more times than I care to admit, but the effort is always there. The honesty of my imperfection is a gift to myself as well.

But it was the gift of a perfectly imperfect little girl that helped me realize how big and full my life could be if I just live it the way she lived…

Every. Single. Day. Imperfect. Authentic. Intentional.

This Is For You

So, to you, the reader — Stupendous Love is for you. It’s the space and place where you are supported in living your best life by “Living Boldly” and “Loving Stupendously.” The space and place that is not built around grief and healing, but rather embracing the intersection of life between pain and purpose, hurt and health, idleness and intentionality, fear and freedom — that space I call the messy middle.

We all have it. Regardless of the scale of our struggle or success, the messy middle is the common space we all share. The good times are made better because of the awareness of our experience in pain, struggle, and challenge — and the struggle is made easier knowing that we have all survived our worst day. There is no comparison to anyone’s worst — we have all experienced a “worst” in our lifetime.

Why I Built This

I started Stupendous Love because it was an unfathomable gift I was given — one that exists because of Ava, and Ava belonged to the world. It is my gift and privilege to share in the celebration and reminder to live a big, bold life filled with unquestionable Stupendous Love.

I am so glad you’re here with me, and I hope you stay along for the celebration — this is a movement we will all experience together.

— Heather

Explore our work, learn about the Ava Wood Stupendous Love Scholarship, or reach out to talk about how Stupendous Love can support you, your community, or your organization at stupendouslove.com.